Dog River Denizens - Tara Spencer-Nairn

TARA SPENCER-NAIRN

(Karen Pelly)

Dog River Denizens - Lorne Cardinal

LORNE CARDINAL

(Davis Quinton)

The Complete and Utter History of Corner Gas Animated...so far

Last week my cable provider sent me a new set top box. It's apparently very whizzy and has various flashing lights on it and connections on the back with important sounding letters printed above them. I have no idea what those letters mean but if you put the right wires in them they let you watch nearly 415 channels of televisual excitement. Hours and hours of content on every subject, of every genre. In any given twenty four hour period there are more programmes to watch than you could possibly fit into a lifetime. That is before you factor in catch up, plus one and sports services and all the movie channels and box sets. Then how is it, with all this choice, super high speed connections and technology available with just a press of a button that every night my wife and I spend more time flicking through with the remote past hundreds of programmes only to decide that it's all rubbish and there is nothing on!

Not A Lot Goin' On - Corner Gas News February 2018

It's Sunday morning. I am sitting in my kitchen looking out of the patio doors at my English countryside setting. In the distance I can hear the birds playing in the trees, their singing occasionally broken by the call of a group of seagulls as they float through the bright blue sky with more grace than their cumbersome size should allow. There is not a cloud to be seen, less to stop the bright sun beating a path to the lush green, grass of my modest lawn. A gentle breeze blows through the early blooming daffodils that dance slowly to tune created by nature that only they can hear. I heed the call of the beauty of the scene as I feel the need to embrace it's siren song before it ebbs into twilight mist. I stride out of my door and breathe in a chestful of the crisp morning air. As it often does, only too soon, the beauty fades as the early morning quietness is broken as I shout "Holy Hell it's cold!" and run back in where all the central heating is at.

By Popular Demand - Merry Gasmas (Season Three, Episode 13)

Here we are, already half way through February. The recent holiday season is a dim and distant memory, with exception of the part where Grandma over did it on the Sherry Trifle and mistook the cat for her new slippers. The neighbourhood is almost fairy light free. Only number 73, down the road, have steadfastly refused to take down the humourous, illuminated Santa falling down the chimney display that has now been on their roof since 2005. All of the over bought foodie treats have finally been demolished, only a few orange creme chocolates remain, because nobody likes them. They will no doubt end up in a gift hamper next year for Auntie Mable, because nobody likes her either. The Easter Eggs are already in the shops and have been since Boxing Day. All this can only mean one thing. That's right! Only 317 days until Christmas!!! It's almost March and we really ought to be thinking about getting the tree out again and putting the Brussel Sprouts on to boil!

Not A Lot Goin' On - Corner Gas Animated Special

Well folks, we have all waited patiently for days, months, years and finally we need wait no longer! Tonight the pressure is released, anxiety is washed away and excitement replaces them as tonight was very special. Tonight, we finally got to see the trailer for Solo: A Star Wars Movie and it looks way better than the whole of The Last Jedi did. Phew....that's a weight off and no mistake.

If you were lucky enough to be watching the telly for the correct 15 seconds on CTV during the latest Superbowl you also got to see a teaser trailer for Corner Gas:Animated!!! Corner Gas fan's across Canada tuned in to the channel who weren't even interested in game, they sat glued waiting for television history to be made. No doubt just before the moment arrived they thought they were safe to pop to the toilet for a second and missed the whole darned thing.

Brent Butt: 30 Years A Stand Up

1993

Standing in the tiny, dimly lit corridor that runs behind the stage from the dressing room, one of the nights comedians stands waiting for the M.C. to announce his name. Just behind him is the dressing room, full of professional comedians all waiting to see how the new guy is going to do, not expecting much more than failure. It is open mic night, and they have seen hundreds of new comers die a horrible death on this stage and many others like it, all over the country. The first of the two open mic acts went on twenty minutes before, his performance taken from his drama school final exam entry met with icy silence, save a soul voice from the back of the room that advised that the fledgling comic's taxi has arrived. That chaps failure only adds to the tension welling in the second acts stomach as he stands there, in among the electric cables, dust and mice. He starts breathing deeply, nerves suddenly get the better of him as he searches his brain for his opening gag which has disappeared from his memory, despite being repeated over and over as he traveled up to the gig.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's his first time at The Comedy Store, please welcome...."

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Dog River Denizens - Nancy Robertson

NANCY ROBERTSON

(Wanda Dollard)

By Popular Demand - Get the F Off My Lawn (Season 6 Episode 18)

Good Afternoon. My name is Dr. Hugh G. Bosom. I am senior executive of the Registration Union of Double Entendres. We at R.U.D.E. are in sole charge of documenting evidence from any media that present naughty things to an audience wrapped in thinly veiled innocence. We then place our findings in our monthly magazine for public consumption. In other words we grab hold of someones unmentionables and show them to everyone.

Not A Lot Goin' On - Competition Special

Another year has passed. 2017 has fizzled out like so many sparklers in the fancy, schmancy cocktail of time and space. This is the beginning of a new year that is bright, shiny and still in a factory sealed wrapper. This is a point where we can take a moment to look back at what we have learnt from the previous twelve months. We can also look forward to the future and sideways to present. We can choose to turn things upside down or right side up as we stand in the middle of a Dodecahedron of choices in the geometrical equation of life.