Sunday 20 May 2018
It has come to my attention that we, as human beings, have an innate design flaw. We regularly get hungry when there is no possibility of eating a chili cheese dog - food of kings and all time favourite of Brent Leroy. How often have you been in a car, in the dentists chair or sitting in McDonalds and there is nothing remotely edible in your immediate vicinity, let alone a decent chili cheese dog? During Scott's expedition, Lawrence Oates famously got so desperate for the sausagey treat that he found himself saying "I am just going out and I maybe sometime" before he headed off on his own to try and find an Antarctic branch of Dairy Queen.
Monday 7 May 2018
Good afternoon. My name is Neville P. Scratchings. I recently graduated from Doctor Fegg's Medical Training Institute for the Almost Criminally Insane. I enrolled for a small monthly fee and no questions asked. Every week, Dr Fegg would send us our training pack in the post which consisted of a medical dictionary, a stethoscope and a randomly selected body part from a undetermined source. If we students managed to successfully identify at least three out of ten of the items sent we received our general practitioner certificate and a a voucher for 10% off at Dodgy Ken's Finger Print Removal Service.