Sunday, 24 March 2019

By Popular Demand - Your 100 Greatest Corner Gas Moments - Pt 4

Welcome back!!! Here we are at Ilfracombe Village Hall and Lido where we are about to discover the final 25 most popular episodes and scenes from Corner Gas! It's been a long haul folks, I know. I have been standing at this podium for so long now I have become a listed monument. Now, I know some of you have been drinking rather a lot and at the end of the ceremony there may well be a bit of a rush for the toilets. Well this may be a good time to point out that after last weeks all you can eat chili and prune festival there has been a bit of a plumbing issue and the council have yet to release the requisition paperwork for a new plunger. Please flush gently people. Which is a nice segue into a word from our sponsors!
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25 - Season 4, Episode 16 - Potato Bowl

Oscar and Davis have started their own society, Karen wants in

Karen: Can I join?

Oscar: Men only

Karen: You let Davis in!?

Oscar: Good point

Davis: Hey!

In an altruistic effort, and validation of his worthiness of 21st century progressive thinking Oscar lets Karen join his new club because she is good at sewing sashes.


However, the boys haven't really put much effort into thinking about what might take place at group meetings and Karen begins to regret her haste in wanting to join.

Karen: I'm kinda bored

Oscar: Wanna do the secret handshake again?

Karen: (Looking at her hand) Nah, I'm already getting a callous

24 - Season 5, Episode 16 Coming Distractions

Brent almost forgot to pay at The Ruby!!



Wanda is extremely good at evil laughter, especially when celebrating writing her name in wet cement!!


23 - Season 4, Episode 12 - Mothers Day

Hank is on the scrounge for a free dinner again!

Emma: By the way, dinner's at six on Sunday night

Brent: Are you sure you don't want me to cook? I mean it is Mother's Day, I should be making dinner for you

Emma: Oh thanks, but I'm really not in the mood for macaroni with mushroom soup on top

Brent: I've expanded my repertoire beyond that - I crush crackers up on it now

Hank: Ah, Mother's Day with your Mom sounds nice - it's too bad my Mom's not in town

Oscar: Yeah too bad

Hank: Yep, just me...in my house...all alone

Oscar: Look, Jackass - you're not coming for dinner so you can pull your "Hint Wagon" into the station

Brent: Hint wagon?

Oscar: Like a wagon load of hints

Brent: I would have gone with "Hintenburg"

Hank: Still, it's pretty sad - me...all by myself...

Emma: Hank? Do you want to come?

Hank: Oh, well uh....I'll see if I can clear my schedule

22 - Season 5, Episode 18 - Bed and Brake Fast

When all is said and done, you can write all the fancy jokes you like, but nothing gets people giggling more than a good old fashioned boot in the nards!



21 - Season 4, Episode 17 - Seeing Things


Brent: Nobody said I was gonna have to touch my eyeball! 

Lacey: Brent, what did you think the word "contact" meant? 

Brent: I didn't give it any thought! I mean words don't have to mean exactly... hot dog doesn't have any dog in it.

20 - Season 3, Episode 11 - Hair Loss

Brent is a little upset about becoming follically challenged.


Brent: I'm going bald, Hank. These things are like lemmings.
 
Hank: Lemmings go bald? 

Lacey: Lemmings follow each other off cliffs and jump to their deaths. 

Hank: Just because they're goin' bald? That's a bit drastic.

19 - Season 1, Episode 7 - All My Exes Live in Toronto

There comes a time in every grown man life when he has to here the snap of rubber glove on Doctors hand.

Paul: Did he give you one of those...

Brent: Oh yeah. He put the Pro in Prostrate

Paul: Oh well, it's got to be done

Brent: I guess. I wish he wasn't so enthusiastic about it though. He went at me like he was trying to get the last pickle out of the jar

Now, despite pestering Oscar and Brent into seeing the doctor, Emma assures them that she sees a Doc in the city twice a year and is by no means taking part in a bi annual bowling tournament.



18 - Season 4 Episode 18 - Happy Campers

You ever wake up and think  - "Lookin' good georgeous!"



17 - Season 6 Episode 16 - Crab Apple Cooler

Brent and Hank have some scrumping mind


Now I think it is completely irresponsible of the booze companies to not put a warning on the bottle that says "Do not play Charades and drink alcohol whilst on pain pills"



16 - Season 6 Episode 13 - TV Free Dog River

This scene pretty much has all the elements in it that covers all the votes received. When Dog River goes TV free for a week why not head down to Corner Gas to look out of the window and watch


THE HANK AND WANDA SHOW!!!


15 - Season 6 Episode 6 - Good Tubbin'


Whole lotta votes came in for the ever lovable, child friendly, Safety Pete!!








14 - Season 2 Episode 6 - Poor Brent

Oscar is grumpy again! This time he is feeling hard done by and putting far more effort into his relationship than Emma is, especially where the sugar bowl is concerned

Oscar: 35 years we've been married, and I'm always putting the lid on it

Emma: I wish you would put a lid on it

Emma decides to put things in perceptive for Oscar and stops doing things around the house that wouldn't usually get done if she didn't. How do you think the towels get cleaned Oscar?


What are the chances that Oscar is going to escalate things. Maybe he could potter around the house in the nudey buff, just because




13 - Season 2, Episode 18 - Harvest Dance

People seem to be getting a kick out of these comicbook style pictures I have been adding. Gives me an idea, imagine Corner Gas..only animated!! Mind blown!



Warning: New Girl Alert!





Brent and Oscar look for an excuse to not eat traditional Emma's jelly salad every year





12 - Season 3, Episode 5 - The Littlest Yarbo

Corner Gas Fan Corner by no means supports the creation of un-licenced products that infringe on copyright...but I couldn't find a proper picture of everyone's favourite travel coffee mug. Don't buy this mug.


That crafty hobo knows the best place for Brent and Hank at the BBQ...in the shed!


Emma asked Oscar to get rid of the leaves in the yard. Hank suggests burning them. What are the chances of this ending well?


11 - Season 1 Episode 9 - Cell Phone

Who has a bigger one Brent or Davis?

Davis: Do you think my new cell phone is small?

Karen: I don't know

Davis: Brent's got a smaller one. I mean, I wasn't looking on purpose, he had it out and I just glanced at it

Karen: Right

Davis: But mine is small right? I mean how small would you say is normal? You get an inaccurate idea because you see smaller ones in movies and magazines and stuff. But for a normal person's cell phone mine is small, smaller than average

Karen: I don't think anyone really cares as long as it works

The bar has a new claw machine, which Oscar gets a little smitten with, when Emma insists he comes home after spending to long with his new favourite machine he is a little incensed!


You know, in the last month I have become a Oscar Leroy meme generating machine. Look out, here comes another one!



10 - Season 5 Episode 2 - Spin Cycle

Wanda has bought a new wireless phone for Corner Gas. Wanda won't let anyone use it.



The ladies of Dog River are planing a charity calendar where the models are nudey!

Fitzy's Grandma: Are you afraid of being scantily clad?

Lacey: Scantily clad? What are you, 70?

Fitzy's Grandma: 74, but that's sweet of you to say

9 - Season 3 Episode 13 - Merry Gasmas

Ahh, the traditional Christmas trip to the emergency room



Ahh, the traditional horrendous trip home which is over complicated due to weather conditions

Airport Guy: Well, right now Toronto's completely snowed in. We had to cancel that flight. We had to make a call

Lacey: You made a the call?

Airport Guy: Oh no, the airline made the call. I don't make calls. I maean I could call if they wanted me to call somebody. But no, this kind of call is their call. They make the call and then they call me

Hands up who wants a Chewbot?

Well tough, Wanda got the last one!


8 - Season 1, Episode 1 - Ruby Reborn

Who would think this opening scene would lead to six seasons of some of the finest television ever made?




Is there anything, or anybody, ever, more iconic that this little shrubbery!


Hank is not happy about the new, improved Ruby -

Hank: Oh yeah, well, I got two words for ya. Boycott! I'm gonna put this place outta business

Brent: Hank if you had the power to put companies outta business by just not being a customer, why am I still able to buy mouthwash?

Wanda: Yeah and deodorant?

Emma: Clean underwear

Brent: Books

Wanda: Pants that fit

Emma: Nail clipppers

(Hank walks away)

Brent: Dandruff shampoo

Wanda: Ummm...dental floss

Emma: Toilet paper

Oscar: Pickup trucks

Emma: (Groans)

Brent: You don't know what we're doing, do you, Dad?

Oscar: Shut up

7 - Season 3, Episode 3 - Dog River Vice

Brent has a wager with Emma that he can give up Coffee longer than she can give up knitting

Lacey: You want some decaf? 

Brent: Decaf?! The caf is what I need! The caf is the whole point of this! I'm not just jonesing for some hot brown liquid, with or without caf. I need the caf! 


Lacey: (Gives Brent a glass of milk) You need therapy. 


Brent: That's not caf. It's for a calf


Meanwhile, Oscar and Emma have become very keen on Ukrainian traditions





Oscar:  Do you want to make Holubsti?

Emma: Not to you! 

6 - Season 5 Episode 7 - Buzz Driver

I'm so glad this episode got voted for, it gives me an excuse to use my Baby Driver parody poster again. What? It took me ages, might as well get my moneys worth!


Someone was daft enough to let Oscar drive the school bus. The kids are very good, but Oscar is going to change all of that!


Back at Corner Gas Wanda has had one too many cans of Haywire energy drink and has become very keen to get the chores done, like scrapping the gum off the floor.



5 - Season 1 Episode 11 - Hook Line and Sinker

There is something about Hank when he goes fishing. He comes over all philosophical and poetic and the ladies can't resist his sexy fish talk.



Wanda: This is an intervention. You have a problem!

Karen: I don't have a problem

Wanda: Yes, you do. You...slept with Hank

Karen: I didn't sleep with Hank

Wanda: Well then why are you telling everybody you slept with him? So you have a substance abuse problem?

Karen: When he goes fishing, he's different...he talks about the string of life and the indelible eternal string...

Wanda: Are you on something right now? Let me check your pupils

Karen: He was like a Brad Pitt in "A River Runs Through It" ...or "The Horse Whisperer". He was like the Fish Whisperer

Wanda: The Fish Whisperer? LISTEN TO YOU! You slept with Hank and you're not making any sense! That's why you need this intervention!

Karen: I didn't sleep with Hank!

TRIVIA TIME: What is it you can not do with Alphagetti?



4 - Season 1 Episode 6 - Worlds Biggest Thing

Worlds Biggest (Dirty/Crack) Hoe!







3 - Season 5, Episode 14 - Contagious Fortune

Hank and Brent kick Wanda, who has caught pinkeye from Hank, out of Corner Gas

Hank: Maybe I was too tough on her. I too was once like her

Brent: Short and angry?

Wanda: (Yelling from outside) Hey Yarbo! I'm coming back for you! (Points at her pinkeye) You made me like this!! I'll be back...for YOU!!

Brent: Short and creepy

Later, in Corner Gas.....

Wanda: (to Brent who is cleaning) You missed a spot

Brent: How'd you get in here?

Wanda: Through the Ruby. Duh!

Brent: Hank! Wanda's breached the perimeter!

Hank: What! How?

Brent: Through the Ruby. Duh!

(Lacey enters via The Ruby)

Lacey: Sorry! She got past me!

Wanda: That's right! I said I'd be back! You can't stop my pinkeye revenge! (she spreads her pickeye germs over the counter) Go, my pets! Spread your pink path as I have commanded you!

Brent: Yeesh! A little dramatic

Wanda: Oh, and "breached the perimeter" is your everyday lingo?

2 - Season 2 Episode 8 - Security Cam

Davis has a new Tazer gun. Hank desperately wants to get tazed, you know...like you do


Brent has a new security camera. Dog River denizens are using it for a spot of amateur dramatics practice and to get themselves out of an awkward situations. They're recorded behavior is so natural it belongs in a David Attenborough documentary....not!


Davis wants to audition for one of the security cam plays. Maybe he should have checked that his Tazer was off before he decided to use it as a prop.




1 - Season 6, Episode 18 - Get the F off My Lawn

So here we have the worlds favourite scene, and over all episode is "Get the F off My Lawn" So many fantastic moments packed into 22 minutes of comedy gold. All this from a season six episode which goes to show Corner Gas was still on top of it's game at the end of it's run. Here are your best bits.

I've run out of Oscar images to use for memes, I'm just going to go ahead and use the same one again.

I'm not lazy....you're lazy....Jackass!!


The local cafe sign supply shop is all out of E's. So why not use an M and put it on it's side? This is why not.


The letters from your store sign are missing, time to call in Dog River's crack police unit. When I say unit...

Lacey: Maybe you should put out an APB on the F and E?

Davis: Too much paperwork

Oft copied but never bested, THE most popular Corner Gas scene as voted for by the public is ...


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So there you have it folks the most popular scenes and the 100 most popular Corner Gas episodes. What a ride it has been. There has been some ups, some downs, some fire damage. However, most of us came out of the other side unscathed. Now we move on to our next category, the least favourite Corner Gas moments...the envelope please Marjorie.

.....Marjorie, this envelope is empty!

.....What do you mean there weren't any votes!

Sunday, 17 March 2019

By Popular Demand - Your 100 Greatest Corner Gas Moments - Pt 3

WELCOME BACK TO ILLFRACOMBE MUNICIPAL VILLAGE HALL AND LIDO. WHAT A GREAT HALF TIME SHOW THAT WAS!! IT'S A SHAME THAT IT WAS RAINING SO HARD AND WE HAD TO BRING IT ALL INSIDE. FIREWORKS ARE A LOT LOUDER INDOORS AREN'T THEY! WELL THAT SAVES THEM HAVING TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE NEW SKYLIGHT AT LEAST. THOSE ELEPHANTS DON'T HALF SHIFT WHEN THEY GET A FRIGHT DON'T THEY! WE'LL GET ON WITH THE COUNTDOWN OF YOUR GREATEST CORNER GAS MOMENTS AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

Sunday, 3 March 2019

By Popular Demand - Your 100 Greatest Corner Gas Moments - Pt 2

Welcome back to Ilfracombe Municiple Village Hall and Lido! We are here celebrating the 100 greatest Corner Gas moments as voted for by people all around the world who had nothing better to do! All the guests are re-seated now. I would like to confirm to you all that the fire has been put out. If next year the Academy could choose someone other than Bob to man the complementary BBQ. I have warned you before what happens before his medication kicks in. Right, with no further ado, no dilly dallying, let's get straight on with the count down after this message from our sponsor.

Sunday, 24 February 2019

By Popular Demand - Your 100 Greatest Corner Gas Moments - Pt 1

Good evening. Ladies, Gentlemen, distinguished members of the Academy. We have gathered here at the Ilfracombe Municiple Villiage Hall and Lido to celebrate six seasons of classic Corner Gas moments. I must mention that I have been asked to make sure that our ceremony is finished by seven o'clock so the over 70's Freestyle Pole Dancing Team can get in the hall to start practice on time. I hear they have a real chance of winning the cup this year if Edith recovers from that terrible accident when her support tights got caught in that revolving door.

First a quick word from our sponsors.
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This years ceremony is bought to you by "Neville Scringe Vague Ilfracombe Street Tours". When visiting our lovely town why not let Neville Scringe show you the wonderful historical sites and places of beauty with all the enthusiasm of someone who has been a tour guide in the same town for nearly 27 years. Wonder, as Neville to points at things that are directly in front of you just in case you haven't noticed them. Neville will give you only the finest quality sighs and shoulder shrugs when you ask him pertinent questions about his home town. Marvel, at his more or less accurate descriptions of buildings of historical interest including the one where Blockbusters used to be. Neville Scringe kinda of knows roughly where all the sites of interest are in the area and has only got lost 27 times in the last 12 months, a vast improvement on the previous 26 years.

 "Neville Scringe Vague Ilfracombe Street Tours" book now to avoid delaying your disappointment.


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Over the last few weeks we have been collating votes from the public and despite the outcome we still went ahead with this ceremony. Hundreds of you in your thousands let us at Corner Gas Fan Corner know what your favourite Dog River moments were over the original six seasons of the show. The scenes are ranked by number of votes however if one episode had more scenes voted for that episode got moved up the chart. So not only will we know everyone's favourite scenes we will discover the most popular episode in the shows history! So with no further ado let's kick off the countdown of your top 100 Corner Gas moments -


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100 - Season 5, Episode 17 - Accidental Cleanist


Oscar: Who the hell do you think you are?

Brent: I like when you start a conversation just by yelling - no lead up, right into it. Valuable time saver

Oscar: I was walking downtown and what did I see? But Brent Leroy's Corner Gas Tree!"

Brent: So you wrote a poem about it?

Oscar: That just rhymed by accident. And where do you get off...

Brent: The tree is just a donation thing, for tax purposes. Plus, it makes a nice legacy.

Oscar: What about me? I founded this place, and you're trying to wipe me out of the picture with one lousy tree!

Brent: I wasn't trying to wipe you out. I mean, there are some memories I'd like to forget. 

Oscar: I built this place from the ground up! And this is the thanks I get. Well, I'll show you a legacy you won't soon forget!

Brent: I think that's actually the definition of legacy

Oscar: Smart guy! (Stomps off)

Brent: Lunatic, that's your legacy.

99 - Season 4, Episode 10 - One Piano, Four Hands

Brent replaces his Tyre air machine with a coin operated version -



98 - Season 4, Episode 11 - Kid Stuff

Brent: Mom has you on a budget? That's adorable. 

Oscar: It's not adorable, and it's not a budget. She just gives me so much money every week and that's it. 

Hank: So, uh, more like an allowance. 

[Brent and Hank both chuckle] 

Oscar: Oh, very funny, smart guy. It's not an allowance. It's a set amount of money, that Emma doles out at a set time, every week! 

[Brent and Hank just stare at him] 

Oscar: Holy Hell! I'm on an allowance!

97 - Season 3, Episode 6 - Mail Fraud

One word....

96 - Season 5, Episode 19 - Final Countdown

After an unfortunate firework incident Oscar is having trouble hearing -


Davis: Wanda is a scared! Wanda is scared!

Oscar: Walter has a beard! Walter Has a beard!

95 - Season 1, Episode 10 - Comedy Night

Lacey reflexively spits at the mention of rival town Wullerton which triggers Brents keen observation



94 - Season 2, Episode 1 - The Brent Effect

Three shots have been reported to Karen at the station, turns out Davis was the culprit, scaring off crows from the local farm!

Karen: I know you're my senior officer, so I say this with all due respect: How stupid are you? You can't just fire your gun off willy-nilly!

Davis: It wasn't willy-nilly. It was at Crows


You have to file a report every time you fire your weapon, whatever the reason.
It was crows, I said.
Are you even listening? You're having a thing with Brent? You work with Brent.
Does he ever talk about me? Sure, every day.
Really? What does he say? It depends on what your specials are.
Specials? The lunch specials.
If you have something like a steak sandwich, he thinks you're the greatest.
But if it's some salad with pine nuts and filberts and stuff from goats, it sours him up for the rest of the day.
Oh.
Lacey, are you having some kinda thing with Brent? No.
Maybe.
I mean we almost had a thing, I think.
Settle down.
You're gettin' me hot.
Do you still have that outboard motor or did some stooge buy it? I got someone to buy it.
90 bucks! Ooh.
Who's the sap? Yeah, I'd rather not say.
The buyer wants to keep it quiet.
You gotta hide me.
Hide you? If your mother finds me, she'll pull my arms off.
Mom's been here for five minutes.
You snitch.
Dad, if you're hiding from someone, don't hide in the place that you go to every day.
When Brent and I went to Regina to see the Grey Cup, his car ran out of gas and we spent the day together.
At one point we started discussing relationships or something and then we Did you sleep with Brent? No! Did you and Brent make out? Well, no.
Well, what? Did you see him pee or something? No.
Well, yeah.
But that's not what I meant.
We almost kissed.
You almost kissed? Mmhmm.
Wow.
That's a big deal for grade seven.
So you almost kissed.
So now you want to know how proceed, huh, take things to the next level? No.
No, no.
The exact opposite.
I - I just wanna be friends.
But I'm afraid if I tell Brent that it'll hurt his feelings For five bucks I'll tell him.
No.
That would hurt his feelings more.
Plus, he would think I was a coward.
Then give me five bucks or I'll tell him.
I need five bucks.
Your father's done a lot of stupid things.
You just realized that? But he's never stolen from me.
You stole from Mom? It was found money.
Where'd you find 90 bucks? In the house, in our house.
In my nightstand, on my side of the bed, in a drawer, in an envelope marked "Do not touch.
" How am I supposed to read in the dark? Dad, don't tell me you're the sap buying Hank's motor? Fine.
I won't tell ya.
"And any firing of the sidearm shall warrant "a full and thorough internal report to be executed and filed by a fellow officer.
" How are we supposed to know what's right and what's wrong when they keep adding new rules? This was published in 1964.
I wasn't even a cop in '64.
How am I supposed to know that stuff? That's why you need the money, for a stupid outboard motor? Maybe I'm buyin' you a present.
You bought me a plastic butter dish 15 years ago and now another present? Oh, keep it up and you won't get nothin'.
Can I talk to you? Yeah, okay.
Wanda, can you take over? Yeah, I think I can manage.
That's my money.
If it's your money, how come I have it? So, what's up? I got somethin' in my teeth?No.
It's about our trip to the Grey Cup.
Oh.
We-we had that moment, or kinda had that moment, and I was just Look, Lacey, um, I was kinda hopin' we could avoid this altogether.
I don't feel like we should be a couple.
You know? I - I think you're great and I like ya a lot.
It's just I honestly feel like we're supposed to be friends.
So let's just stay friends, okay? Will you be all right with that? Oh, sure.
Yeah.
That's great, actually.
Because that's what I was just gonna say.
Really? Excellent.
Right.
I'm just curious as to why you-you don't, um Back to work.
Talk to ya later.
What are the lunch specials today? Uh, pork chops.
Oh, Yes! You rule! Okay, so I'll just ask you a few questions, file a quick report, and, ah, we'll be done here.
Okay? All right, I guess.
So, you say you were out by Lumsden's farm? Yeah, just west of town.
Driving your patrol car? Of course.
Okay, okay.
We're on the same side, here, Davis.
No need to get defensive.
I'm not.
You're not on my side? I'm not defensive.
Hmm.
We can work this out.
Yeah, if you give me my money.
I just want some gas.
So could you Do I look like I work here? Does anyone work here? Hey, how ya doin'? Can I check the oil, clean the windshield? Do you collect AirMiles? I just want outta here.
I know that feeling.
Mom, Dad, settle down, okay? We're gonna have civilian casualties here and then we got the UN crawlin' all over the place.
Come again.
Oh, hey! We gotta find a solution to this.
I've been saving for six months to buy a new mixer and I'm buying a new mixer.
Hang on a second.
Dad wants a new outboard motor, Mom wants a new mixer.
Oh, okay, that won't work.
But you guys have to compromise.
It's too late.
Geez, he can really move when he wants to.
It's okay.
I know where he lives.
Hey.
How did your talk with Brent go? Before I had a chance to tell him that I wasn't really attracted to him, he told me he wasn't really attracted to me.
Mm, aah.
Yeah.
So it's good, you know, because I didn't have to hurt his feelings and now I'm just wondering why Why he's not attracted to you? Yeah.
I-I'm-I'm just curious.
No offence, Lacey, but, uh, you're kinda shootin' for the moon, there.
Pardon? You know? I mean Brent's just a bit outta your league.
Ah, out of my No offence.
You are a lovely, intelligent woman.
It's just that Brent's kind of unattainable.
Really? If we're talkin' just pure, raw, physical animal attractiveness, the average guy is, and Brent is.
Wow.
'Cause, you know, I've really, I-I really never thought of him like that.
Atta girl.
You tell yourself whatever you need to, to get over the sting of rejection, and then you pick yourself back up and you get back in the game.
You know, lower your standards, then get back in the game.
So you fired your gun off at 2:00? But you didn't get back here until 2:20.
What were you doin' for 20 minutes? Nothing.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothin'.
Just a lotta nothin', just thinkin' out loud.
You look like you could use a break.
You want a coffee? Yeah.
We're all out.
Strange.
What's that? Oh.
Wanda was just saying that Brent's really attractive.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know how she does it, havin' to work with him every day.
What do you mean? He's gorgeous.
I mean I'm a guy, I can't tell.
I just see the way women throw themselves at him.
Brent Leroy? Good looks, gas station.
Some guys have all the luck.
So Brent's really good looking? I know! So how often would you say you fire your handgun in the, ah, course of a week? I don't know.
I - I don't keep track.
I thought you said we were out of coffee.
Did I? Emma? Hey, uh, could I ask you something? Sure.
Okay.
Here it goes.
Uh, do you think your son might be attracted to me? Oh, I don't know.
I hope so.
You're a nice, pretty girl, you run your own business.
You'd do Brent a world of good.
Oh, no.
Thanks, Emma.
That's very sweet.
But I don't want you to think The problem, though, is with Brent himself.
In relationships, he's his own worst enemy.
What do you mean? He's so good looking.
Too good looking, really.
It can be a curse as well as a blessing.
Oh, I imagine it would be.
You're not the first to fall for that chiselled face, and I'm afraid you won't be the last.
So don't be too hurt if Brent ends up being a little bit beyond your reach.
Oh, well.
Thank you, Emma.
I - I'll keep that in mind.
But, just to be clear, I'm not falling for Brent.
Sure you're not.
Aww.
Did you get the money? I damn near died for it.
All right.
There it is.
Hah, hah.
Come to Papa.
Geez! What does this thing weigh? Kilograms? Talk right.
That's metric.
Metric? I got news for ya, Hank.
We won the war.
So what's the horsepower of this baby? It's like, 15 horsepower.
Hah! That's like 7,000 metric.
Really? Mmhmm.
You got yourself a deal.
Anyplace else? All over the place.
I shoot at sign posts, sometimes at sparrows, only because I know I'll never hit them.
And-and sometimes I-I shoot straight up into air, you know, to celebrate stuff.
Well, this has been a real eye opener, Davis.
I gotta tell ya.
Now what? I- I-I mean what'll happen? What-what-what happens next? You think I'll get disciplined? You think I'll get fired? What happens next is I sign this report, make it official, and according to regulation, I hand the completed report to my superior officer.
Here you go, Sir.
We need to talk.
No, no, we don't.
No.
No.
Talk-talk to Oscar.
He's the one that stole your money while you were out.
I don't know nothin' about it.
I know it's not your fault, Hank.
But I do need that money.
So, you like to play pool, do ya? Yeah.
How about you and I play a game of pool for that $90? I don't know, Emma.
I'm, uh, I'm actually really good.
I wouldn't want ya to think I was hustlin' ya.
Rack 'em.
There.
I beat ya 10 games in a row.
Can I go home now? How about the best 11 out of 21? Just take the money.
Hey.
Could I ask you something? Sure.
Do you think I'm attractive? Ah, let's get one thing straight.
I like guys.
I know, sometimes with me being a cop, people make assumptions.
We all have things in our past.
High school, pyjama party, tickle fight.
Let's start over.
Would you say that Brent is better looking, for a guy, than I am for a woman? I don't understand.
Brent told me he just wants to be friends, which is totally cool, and that's all I wanna be anyway.
Oh, Lacey.
So what if Brent doesn't want to go out with you.
You are way better looking for girls than he is for boys, way! Oh, Karen, thank you.
No problem.
I mean that's what friends do, right?Mmhmm.
They say things that aren't exactly true to make their friends feel good about themselves.
Is that what you just did? Yeah.
Usually you don't tell the person.
Oh.
Well, anyway, truth is, Brent is way outta your league.
Just lower the bar a little.
You'll find someone.
Oh.
You know how you guys all think that Brent is so handsome and unattainable and outta my league? Now, Lacey, no one ever said that.
Actually, I said something like that.
Oh, yeah, I did too.
Well, it seems to be a fairly general consensus around town.
But I have a theory.
Adaptation.
Yeah, that's it, for sure.
Don't humour her until she's done.
Sorry.
We have adapted to our surroundings, we have lowered our standards.
I mean think about the men of Dog River.
Do you see? We have adapted our standards because of what's available to us.
Brent, because he's not tragically flawed, is seen as beautiful when held up against the average.
Well, I see what you're saying.
But Do you see? Wanda agrees with me.
Oh, I am so glad that's settled.
Now I gotta get back to work.
Was that as big a load as it sounded? Huge load.
She's livin' in a dream world.
Yeah.
Brent's not hot.
Whatever.
Where you been? Thought I'd stay out of the house, give you a chance to rummage through my drawers and steal stuff.
You still upset about that? Stop livin' in the past.
Oh, I'll get over it, Oscar.
Because, trust me, you're gonna get yours.
What does that mean? Unbelievable! She put holes in my boat! We'll see about this.
See? Two can play the hole game.
What are you talking about? You put holes in my boat, I put holes in your bowls.
I never put holes in your boat.
Oh, right.
Somebody just comes along by Lumsden's farm and shoots it.
I gotta be more careful with my gun.
So you're not mad at me anymore? Nah.
You were right.
You put a good scare into me.
I learned my lesson.
Davis, I got a nest of squirrels in my attic.
Can I borrow your gun? There ya go.
Thanks.
Davis! Oh, right.
When you're finished, you're gonna have to file a report.
Yeah, not likely.
What? How's it goin'? I'm sittin' down, I'm eating.
For a lazy glutton, this is like a perfect day.
What is it you love so much about chili cheese dogs? What don't I love about them? Actually, I don't love the poppy seeds on the bun.
Could you get some plain ones? Just brush them off with your hands.
You heard me say I'm lazy, right? That's what you don't like.
What do you like about them? Oh, well, they're delicious, they're affordable, and, best of all, they're bite-sized.
You are so outta my league.
What's that mean? Closed Captioning by * I don't know the same things you don't know * * I don't know I just don't know * * It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place * I don't know Yes you do * * You just won't admit it * I don't know the same things you don't know * Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.
com * I don't know * I just don't know * 
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You have to file a report every time you fire your weapon, whatever the reason.
It was crows, I said.
Are you even listening? You're having a thing with Brent? You work with Brent.
Does he ever talk about me? Sure, every day.
Really? What does he say? It depends on what your specials are.
Specials? The lunch specials.
If you have something like a steak sandwich, he thinks you're the greatest.
But if it's some salad with pine nuts and filberts and stuff from goats, it sours him up for the rest of the day.
Oh.
Lacey, are you having some kinda thing with Brent? No.
Maybe.
I mean we almost had a thing, I think.
Settle down.
You're gettin' me hot.
Do you still have that outboard motor or did some stooge buy it? I got someone to buy it.
90 bucks! Ooh.
Who's the sap? Yeah, I'd rather not say.
The buyer wants to keep it quiet.
You gotta hide me.
Hide you? If your mother finds me, she'll pull my arms off.
Mom's been here for five minutes.
You snitch.
Dad, if you're hiding from someone, don't hide in the place that you go to every day.
When Brent and I went to Regina to see the Grey Cup, his car ran out of gas and we spent the day together.
At one point we started discussing relationships or something and then we Did you sleep with Brent? No! Did you and Brent make out? Well, no.
Well, what? Did you see him pee or something? No.
Well, yeah.
But that's not what I meant.
We almost kissed.
You almost kissed? Mmhmm.
Wow.
That's a big deal for grade seven.
So you almost kissed.
So now you want to know how proceed, huh, take things to the next level? No.
No, no.
The exact opposite.
I - I just wanna be friends.
But I'm afraid if I tell Brent that it'll hurt his feelings For five bucks I'll tell him.
No.
That would hurt his feelings more.
Plus, he would think I was a coward.
Then give me five bucks or I'll tell him.
I need five bucks.
Your father's done a lot of stupid things.
You just realized that? But he's never stolen from me.
You stole from Mom? It was found money.
Where'd you find 90 bucks? In the house, in our house.
In my nightstand, on my side of the bed, in a drawer, in an envelope marked "Do not touch.
" How am I supposed to read in the dark? Dad, don't tell me you're the sap buying Hank's motor? Fine.
I won't tell ya.
"And any firing of the sidearm shall warrant "a full and thorough internal report to be executed and filed by a fellow officer.
" How are we supposed to know what's right and what's wrong when they keep adding new rules? This was published in 1964.
I wasn't even a cop in '64.
How am I supposed to know that stuff? That's why you need the money, for a stupid outboard motor? Maybe I'm buyin' you a present.
You bought me a plastic butter dish 15 years ago and now another present? Oh, keep it up and you won't get nothin'.
Can I talk to you? Yeah, okay.
Wanda, can you take over? Yeah, I think I can manage.
That's my money.
If it's your money, how come I have it? So, what's up? I got somethin' in my teeth?No.
It's about our trip to the Grey Cup.
Oh.
We-we had that moment, or kinda had that moment, and I was just Look, Lacey, um, I was kinda hopin' we could avoid this altogether.
I don't feel like we should be a couple.
You know? I - I think you're great and I like ya a lot.
It's just I honestly feel like we're supposed to be friends.
So let's just stay friends, okay? Will you be all right with that? Oh, sure.
Yeah.
That's great, actually.
Because that's what I was just gonna say.
Really? Excellent.
Right.
I'm just curious as to why you-you don't, um Back to work.
Talk to ya later.
What are the lunch specials today? Uh, pork chops.
Oh, Yes! You rule! Okay, so I'll just ask you a few questions, file a quick report, and, ah, we'll be done here.
Okay? All right, I guess.
So, you say you were out by Lumsden's farm? Yeah, just west of town.
Driving your patrol car? Of course.
Okay, okay.
We're on the same side, here, Davis.
No need to get defensive.
I'm not.
You're not on my side? I'm not defensive.
Hmm.
We can work this out.
Yeah, if you give me my money.
I just want some gas.
So could you Do I look like I work here? Does anyone work here? Hey, how ya doin'? Can I check the oil, clean the windshield? Do you collect AirMiles? I just want outta here.
I know that feeling.
Mom, Dad, settle down, okay? We're gonna have civilian casualties here and then we got the UN crawlin' all over the place.
Come again.
Oh, hey! We gotta find a solution to this.
I've been saving for six months to buy a new mixer and I'm buying a new mixer.
Hang on a second.
Dad wants a new outboard motor, Mom wants a new mixer.
Oh, okay, that won't work.
But you guys have to compromise.
It's too late.
Geez, he can really move when he wants to.
It's okay.
I know where he lives.
Hey.
How did your talk with Brent go? Before I had a chance to tell him that I wasn't really attracted to him, he told me he wasn't really attracted to me.
Mm, aah.
Yeah.
So it's good, you know, because I didn't have to hurt his feelings and now I'm just wondering why Why he's not attracted to you? Yeah.
I-I'm-I'm just curious.
No offence, Lacey, but, uh, you're kinda shootin' for the moon, there.
Pardon? You know? I mean Brent's just a bit outta your league.
Ah, out of my No offence.
You are a lovely, intelligent woman.
It's just that Brent's kind of unattainable.
Really? If we're talkin' just pure, raw, physical animal attractiveness, the average guy is, and Brent is.
Wow.
'Cause, you know, I've really, I-I really never thought of him like that.
Atta girl.
You tell yourself whatever you need to, to get over the sting of rejection, and then you pick yourself back up and you get back in the game.
You know, lower your standards, then get back in the game.
So you fired your gun off at 2:00? But you didn't get back here until 2:20.
What were you doin' for 20 minutes? Nothing.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothin'.
Just a lotta nothin', just thinkin' out loud.
You look like you could use a break.
You want a coffee? Yeah.
We're all out.
Strange.
What's that? Oh.
Wanda was just saying that Brent's really attractive.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know how she does it, havin' to work with him every day.
What do you mean? He's gorgeous.
I mean I'm a guy, I can't tell.
I just see the way women throw themselves at him.
Brent Leroy? Good looks, gas station.
Some guys have all the luck.
So Brent's really good looking? I know! So how often would you say you fire your handgun in the, ah, course of a week? I don't know.
I - I don't keep track.
I thought you said we were out of coffee.
Did I? Emma? Hey, uh, could I ask you something? Sure.
Okay.
Here it goes.
Uh, do you think your son might be attracted to me? Oh, I don't know.
I hope so.
You're a nice, pretty girl, you run your own business.
You'd do Brent a world of good.
Oh, no.
Thanks, Emma.
That's very sweet.
But I don't want you to think The problem, though, is with Brent himself.
In relationships, he's his own worst enemy.
What do you mean? He's so good looking.
Too good looking, really.
It can be a curse as well as a blessing.
Oh, I imagine it would be.
You're not the first to fall for that chiselled face, and I'm afraid you won't be the last.
So don't be too hurt if Brent ends up being a little bit beyond your reach.
Oh, well.
Thank you, Emma.
I - I'll keep that in mind.
But, just to be clear, I'm not falling for Brent.
Sure you're not.
Aww.
Did you get the money? I damn near died for it.
All right.
There it is.
Hah, hah.
Come to Papa.
Geez! What does this thing weigh? Kilograms? Talk right.
That's metric.
Metric? I got news for ya, Hank.
We won the war.
So what's the horsepower of this baby? It's like, 15 horsepower.
Hah! That's like 7,000 metric.
Really? Mmhmm.
You got yourself a deal.
Anyplace else? All over the place.
I shoot at sign posts, sometimes at sparrows, only because I know I'll never hit them.
And-and sometimes I-I shoot straight up into air, you know, to celebrate stuff.
Well, this has been a real eye opener, Davis.
I gotta tell ya.
Now what? I- I-I mean what'll happen? What-what-what happens next? You think I'll get disciplined? You think I'll get fired? What happens next is I sign this report, make it official, and according to regulation, I hand the completed report to my superior officer.
Here you go, Sir.
We need to talk.
No, no, we don't.
No.
No.
Talk-talk to Oscar.
He's the one that stole your money while you were out.
I don't know nothin' about it.
I know it's not your fault, Hank.
But I do need that money.
So, you like to play pool, do ya? Yeah.
How about you and I play a game of pool for that $90? I don't know, Emma.
I'm, uh, I'm actually really good.
I wouldn't want ya to think I was hustlin' ya.
Rack 'em.
There.
I beat ya 10 games in a row.
Can I go home now? How about the best 11 out of 21? Just take the money.
Hey.
Could I ask you something? Sure.
Do you think I'm attractive? Ah, let's get one thing straight.
I like guys.
I know, sometimes with me being a cop, people make assumptions.
We all have things in our past.
High school, pyjama party, tickle fight.
Let's start over.
Would you say that Brent is better looking, for a guy, than I am for a woman? I don't understand.
Brent told me he just wants to be friends, which is totally cool, and that's all I wanna be anyway.
Oh, Lacey.
So what if Brent doesn't want to go out with you.
You are way better looking for girls than he is for boys, way! Oh, Karen, thank you.
No problem.
I mean that's what friends do, right?Mmhmm.
They say things that aren't exactly true to make their friends feel good about themselves.
Is that what you just did? Yeah.
Usually you don't tell the person.
Oh.
Well, anyway, truth is, Brent is way outta your league.
Just lower the bar a little.
You'll find someone.
Oh.
You know how you guys all think that Brent is so handsome and unattainable and outta my league? Now, Lacey, no one ever said that.
Actually, I said something like that.
Oh, yeah, I did too.
Well, it seems to be a fairly general consensus around town.
But I have a theory.
Adaptation.
Yeah, that's it, for sure.
Don't humour her until she's done.
Sorry.
We have adapted to our surroundings, we have lowered our standards.
I mean think about the men of Dog River.
Do you see? We have adapted our standards because of what's available to us.
Brent, because he's not tragically flawed, is seen as beautiful when held up against the average.
Well, I see what you're saying.
But Do you see? Wanda agrees with me.
Oh, I am so glad that's settled.
Now I gotta get back to work.
Was that as big a load as it sounded? Huge load.
She's livin' in a dream world.
Yeah.
Brent's not hot.
Whatever.
Where you been? Thought I'd stay out of the house, give you a chance to rummage through my drawers and steal stuff.
You still upset about that? Stop livin' in the past.
Oh, I'll get over it, Oscar.
Because, trust me, you're gonna get yours.
What does that mean? Unbelievable! She put holes in my boat! We'll see about this.
See? Two can play the hole game.
What are you talking about? You put holes in my boat, I put holes in your bowls.
I never put holes in your boat.
Oh, right.
Somebody just comes along by Lumsden's farm and shoots it.
I gotta be more careful with my gun.
So you're not mad at me anymore? Nah.
You were right.
You put a good scare into me.
I learned my lesson.
Davis, I got a nest of squirrels in my attic.
Can I borrow your gun? There ya go.
Thanks.
Davis! Oh, right.
When you're finished, you're gonna have to file a report.
Yeah, not likely.
What? How's it goin'? I'm sittin' down, I'm eating.
For a lazy glutton, this is like a perfect day.
What is it you love so much about chili cheese dogs? What don't I love about them? Actually, I don't love the poppy seeds on the bun.
Could you get some plain ones? Just brush them off with your hands.
You heard me say I'm lazy, right? That's what you don't like.
What do you like about them? Oh, well, they're delicious, they're affordable, and, best of all, they're bite-sized.
You are so outta my league.
What's that mean? Closed Captioning by * I don't know the same things you don't know * * I don't know I just don't know * * It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place * I don't know Yes you do * * You just won't admit it * I don't know the same things you don't know * Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.
com * I don't know * I just don't know * 
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Corner Gas (2004) Episode Scripts   |   More Television Show Episode Scripts

 

 






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We got a call.
A what? Reports of gunfire just west of town.
Relax.
It's nothin'.
Nothing? It's three, maybe four gunshots.
It was three, I think.
Yeah, three.
They were your shots? Yeah.
I was down at Lumsden's farm.
He had a buncha crows eatin' his corn.
So you figured you should start shooting at them? Well, not right That stupid scarecrow he's got is useless.
It isn't scary in the least.
Caw! A scarecrow should look scary.
That's the whole point.
Davis, I know you're my senior officer, so I say this with all due respect.
How stupid are you? You can't just fire your gun off willy-nilly.
It wasn't willy-nilly.
It was at crows.

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We got a call.
A what? Reports of gunfire just west of town.
Relax.
It's nothin'.
Nothing? It's three, maybe four gunshots.
It was three, I think.
Yeah, three.
They were your shots? Yeah.
I was down at Lumsden's farm.
He had a buncha crows eatin' his corn.
So you figured you should start shooting at them? Well, not right That stupid scarecrow he's got is useless.
It isn't scary in the least.
Caw! A scarecrow should look scary.
That's the whole point.
Davis, I know you're my senior officer, so I say this with all due respect.
How stupid are you? You can't just fire your gun off willy-nilly.
It wasn't willy-nilly.
It was at crows.

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93 - Season 3, Episode 8 - Trees A Crowd

When faced with a moments trouble with the kids who have taken over their old tree house, Brent needs back up from Hank




92 - Season 2, Episode 14 - Doc Small

Due to many misunderstandings new Doctor in Dog River, Chris Garner, may well decide working in the town is not for her - 

I'm just trying to show Chris that we're pretty down to earth.

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Lacey: I'm just trying to show Chris  that we are pretty down to earth. Right now Brent is bunking with a good friend

Dr. Chris: I heard

Brent: I just had to kick him out. Everything was going ok but he wanted to bring animals into it!


Later - Dr. Chris can take no more!

Dr. Chris: Please. You guys think I don't know what's going on? It's obvious the whole town has conspired to convince me not to live here. The weird sexcapades of Brent and his friends. 

(Brent takes his arm out from around Davis)

Dr. Chris: People tossing their kids out, and the constant smothering by this woman who dresses all slutty!

Lacey: (Fake laugh) Flirty...!



91 -  Season 1, Episode 12 - Face Off

Ronny Rocket Ice Hockey hero from neighboring town asked Brent to leave the Dog River River Dogs to join his team as goalie -

Brent: I don't know Ronny I am flattered and everything but I am going to have to decline the offer

Hank: Hey ya five hole whats this jerk doing here

Brent: Ronny here asked me to play for The Saints

Hank: What you got a lotta nerve buddy. I hope you told him to go hump a stump

Brent: Better. I declined the offer. He had no comeback

Ronny: Hey, no skin off my nose, but if you were to play with us you wouldn't be humiliated by me scoring on you every game

Brent: Not every game, this never happened

Ronny: Speaking metaphorically

Brent: Yeah well, why don't you speak leave aphorically, Scram-Aphorically!

Hank: Piss off-aphorically

Ronny: What are you guys seven

Brent: What are you guys seven? Burn!


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90 - Season 6, Episode 7 - American Resolution

Wanda gives up red licorice for her resolution. Once the craving sets in she starts hearing things!


Wanda: [to Hank] You are a mental case! [to the licorice] Will you shut up for two minutes! I'm talking here!


89 - Season 3, Episode 7 - Fun Run

No one can keep up with the incomparable Jann Arden!







88 - Season 3, Episode 1 - Dress for Success

Oscar: Reach up and take $10,000 off the fictional money tree and hand it to me


Brent: But why can't you do that yourself? Did some fictional hooligan steal your make believe ladder?

Oscar: It's against the rules. We can each take ten grand, that's it, that's the rules. Without rules nothin' makes sense!

Brent: With rules this makes no sense. What are you going to do with this money?

Oscar: I got a hot stock tip! I'm sinkin' the whole ten grand!

Brent: Yeah, I bet sinkin' is the right word. OK, I'll get you your invisible cash. Here, hold my Monkey (mimes handing Oscar a Monkey)


Reach up and take $10,000 off the fictional money tree and hand it to me.
But why can't you do that yourself? Did some fictional hooligan steal your make-believe ladder? It's against the rules.
We can each take 10 grand, that's it, that's the rules.
Without rules, nothin' makes sense.
With rules this makes no sense.
What are you gonna do with this money? I got a hot stock tip.
I'm sinkin' the whole Yeah, I bet sinkin' is the right word.
Fine, I'll get you your invisible cash.
Hold my monkey.
Okay, I got a big mitt full of cash.
It feels like about 10 G's.
Large bills okay? Thank you.
Was that so hard? Aren't you gonna count it? Smart guy.

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87 - Season 3, Episode 15 - Block Party

Hank attempts to build a replica of Dog River out of Lego and it starts to affect his dreams!




86 - Season 4, Episode 9 - Outside Joke

Davis has absolutely no idea how to perform a decent practical joke. The most voted for example of this is a swoosh cut that shows Davis throwing a dirty big rock at Emma's car and shouting "April Fool!"  ....it's funnier if you watch it.


85 - Season 5, Episode 5 - Wash Me

Hank uses his dirty truck to organise his life!



84 - Season 3, Episode 10 - Safety First

This episode marks the first time we hear top Ruby chef Josh speak!

Josh: That's all you see me as, a busboy? You don't know that I've always wanted to work on a Llama farm!

Lacey: Yeah? Well, be careful! They bite your fingers off!

Brent: Oh, that's not gonna work. Danger's part of the allure of Llama farming

Lacey: Did you know he wanted to work with Llamas?

Brent: I didn't even know he could talk!

83 - Season 2, Episode 13 Pandoras Wine


Courtesy of Lacey, Oscar and Emma get hooked on various expensive food that they initially claim not to enjoy before trying it. They plot a "revenge brunch" hoping to get Lacey hooked on expensive food in return.



82 - Season 3, Episode 14 - Friend of a Friend



81 - Howler Headlines

There are so many to choose from but this one came out everyone's favourite


80 - Season 1, Episode 4  - Oh Baby

Lacey: I feel like a glass of wine. What's your house red?

Paul: Not sure. (Shouts to someone out back) Hey, what's it say on that bag of wine over there? No that's Ketchup, the one beside it

Lacey: You know what, beer's good

79 - Season 5, Episode 1 - Cable Excess

Oscar: Street Legal Sucked!


78 - Season 6, Episode 9 - Rock Stars

Oscar: (to the father of Brent's guitar teacher) Tell your kid to stopfilling my kids head full of rock n roll dreams

Mr: Dillems: Who's your kid?

Oscar: Brent! The big one. Big head. This high, this wide. Wears jeans

Mr. Dillems: Oh, the beginner? I always thought he was weird, but now I see his old man, it all makes sense

Oscar: What's that supposed to mean?

Mr. Dillems: It means you're a nutcase, and I don't want you or your weirdo son taking lessons from my kid
       
Oscar: Well, I won't let my kid hang out with your kid, because your kid has a jackass for a father

Mr. Dillems: You can't insult my whole family like that!

Oscar: Your whole jackass family!

77 - Season 2, Episode 9 - Bingo Night

Cheeky Ruby customers are bringing in packaged cookies to eat and Lacey is all ticked off about it!


76 - Season 4, Episode 19 - Gopher It

Voted for as the saddest moment in Corner Gas history. Lacey leaves Dog River. I could tell you more, but you know...spoilers!


75 - Season 3, Episode 2 - Key to the Future

The cold open to this episode comes out as many peoples favourite. With Brents Bugs Bunny to Hanks Daffy Duck you always know who is going to come out on top!



----------
So there we have it, your first 25 entries, and they are all doozies. I bet you are all on the edge of your seat! Has your favourite already been picked, what will make the top spot? We will be right back after these messages!
----------

Coming soon the theaters near you, the monster movie you have all been waiting for! The King of Skull Island returns to reek terror, cause mayhem and to join a close harmony barbershop quartet! You will scream in terror as Kong takes on a three headed serpent! You will shriek as he bats war planes out of the sky like flies! You will dance as he sings bass on "Life Could be a Dream"! Get your tickets now for "King-Kong-Ding-Dong-Sing-a-Long-a-Thon" - only at theatres!

With thanks to Blog Paper Twitter followers, the Facebook View From Dog River Community and in particular Sharon Gilbert-Bernard and her whole family and Lenka. Biggest thanks to Bill Concannon who with a throw away comment somewhere on the internet sparked this whole idea. 
You have to file a report every time you fire your weapon, whatever the reason.
It was crows, I said.
Are you even listening? You're having a thing with Brent? You work with Brent.
Does he ever talk about me? Sure, every day.
Really? What does he say? It depends on what your specials are.
Specials? The lunch specials.
If you have something like a steak sandwich, he thinks you're the greatest.
But if it's some salad with pine nuts and filberts and stuff from goats, it sours him up for the rest of the day.
Oh.
Lacey, are you having some kinda thing with Brent? No.
Maybe.
I mean we almost had a thing, I think.
Settle down.
You're gettin' me hot.
Do you still have that outboard motor or did some stooge buy it? I got someone to buy it.
90 bucks! Ooh.
Who's the sap? Yeah, I'd rather not say.
The buyer wants to keep it quiet.
You gotta hide me.
Hide you? If your mother finds me, she'll pull my arms off.
Mom's been here for five minutes.
You snitch.
Dad, if you're hiding from someone, don't hide in the place that you go to every day.
When Brent and I went to Regina to see the Grey Cup, his car ran out of gas and we spent the day together.
At one point we started discussing relationships or something and then we Did you sleep with Brent? No! Did you and Brent make out? Well, no.
Well, what? Did you see him pee or something? No.
Well, yeah.
But that's not what I meant.
We almost kissed.
You almost kissed? Mmhmm.
Wow.
That's a big deal for grade seven.
So you almost kissed.
So now you want to know how proceed, huh, take things to the next level? No.
No, no.
The exact opposite.
I - I just wanna be friends.
But I'm afraid if I tell Brent that it'll hurt his feelings For five bucks I'll tell him.
No.
That would hurt his feelings more.
Plus, he would think I was a coward.
Then give me five bucks or I'll tell him.
I need five bucks.
Your father's done a lot of stupid things.
You just realized that? But he's never stolen from me.
You stole from Mom? It was found money.
Where'd you find 90 bucks? In the house, in our house.
In my nightstand, on my side of the bed, in a drawer, in an envelope marked "Do not touch.
" How am I supposed to read in the dark? Dad, don't tell me you're the sap buying Hank's motor? Fine.
I won't tell ya.
"And any firing of the sidearm shall warrant "a full and thorough internal report to be executed and filed by a fellow officer.
" How are we supposed to know what's right and what's wrong when they keep adding new rules? This was published in 1964.
I wasn't even a cop in '64.
How am I supposed to know that stuff? That's why you need the money, for a stupid outboard motor? Maybe I'm buyin' you a present.
You bought me a plastic butter dish 15 years ago and now another present? Oh, keep it up and you won't get nothin'.
Can I talk to you? Yeah, okay.
Wanda, can you take over? Yeah, I think I can manage.
That's my money.
If it's your money, how come I have it? So, what's up? I got somethin' in my teeth?No.
It's about our trip to the Grey Cup.
Oh.
We-we had that moment, or kinda had that moment, and I was just Look, Lacey, um, I was kinda hopin' we could avoid this altogether.
I don't feel like we should be a couple.
You know? I - I think you're great and I like ya a lot.
It's just I honestly feel like we're supposed to be friends.
So let's just stay friends, okay? Will you be all right with that? Oh, sure.
Yeah.
That's great, actually.
Because that's what I was just gonna say.
Really? Excellent.
Right.
I'm just curious as to why you-you don't, um Back to work.
Talk to ya later.
What are the lunch specials today? Uh, pork chops.
Oh, Yes! You rule! Okay, so I'll just ask you a few questions, file a quick report, and, ah, we'll be done here.
Okay? All right, I guess.
So, you say you were out by Lumsden's farm? Yeah, just west of town.
Driving your patrol car? Of course.
Okay, okay.
We're on the same side, here, Davis.
No need to get defensive.
I'm not.
You're not on my side? I'm not defensive.
Hmm.
We can work this out.
Yeah, if you give me my money.
I just want some gas.
So could you Do I look like I work here? Does anyone work here? Hey, how ya doin'? Can I check the oil, clean the windshield? Do you collect AirMiles? I just want outta here.
I know that feeling.
Mom, Dad, settle down, okay? We're gonna have civilian casualties here and then we got the UN crawlin' all over the place.
Come again.
Oh, hey! We gotta find a solution to this.
I've been saving for six months to buy a new mixer and I'm buying a new mixer.
Hang on a second.
Dad wants a new outboard motor, Mom wants a new mixer.
Oh, okay, that won't work.
But you guys have to compromise.
It's too late.
Geez, he can really move when he wants to.
It's okay.
I know where he lives.
Hey.
How did your talk with Brent go? Before I had a chance to tell him that I wasn't really attracted to him, he told me he wasn't really attracted to me.
Mm, aah.
Yeah.
So it's good, you know, because I didn't have to hurt his feelings and now I'm just wondering why Why he's not attracted to you? Yeah.
I-I'm-I'm just curious.
No offence, Lacey, but, uh, you're kinda shootin' for the moon, there.
Pardon? You know? I mean Brent's just a bit outta your league.
Ah, out of my No offence.
You are a lovely, intelligent woman.
It's just that Brent's kind of unattainable.
Really? If we're talkin' just pure, raw, physical animal attractiveness, the average guy is, and Brent is.
Wow.
'Cause, you know, I've really, I-I really never thought of him like that.
Atta girl.
You tell yourself whatever you need to, to get over the sting of rejection, and then you pick yourself back up and you get back in the game.
You know, lower your standards, then get back in the game.
So you fired your gun off at 2:00? But you didn't get back here until 2:20.
What were you doin' for 20 minutes? Nothing.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothin'.
Just a lotta nothin', just thinkin' out loud.
You look like you could use a break.
You want a coffee? Yeah.
We're all out.
Strange.
What's that? Oh.
Wanda was just saying that Brent's really attractive.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know how she does it, havin' to work with him every day.
What do you mean? He's gorgeous.
I mean I'm a guy, I can't tell.
I just see the way women throw themselves at him.
Brent Leroy? Good looks, gas station.
Some guys have all the luck.
So Brent's really good looking? I know! So how often would you say you fire your handgun in the, ah, course of a week? I don't know.
I - I don't keep track.
I thought you said we were out of coffee.
Did I? Emma? Hey, uh, could I ask you something? Sure.
Okay.
Here it goes.
Uh, do you think your son might be attracted to me? Oh, I don't know.
I hope so.
You're a nice, pretty girl, you run your own business.
You'd do Brent a world of good.
Oh, no.
Thanks, Emma.
That's very sweet.
But I don't want you to think The problem, though, is with Brent himself.
In relationships, he's his own worst enemy.
What do you mean? He's so good looking.
Too good looking, really.
It can be a curse as well as a blessing.
Oh, I imagine it would be.
You're not the first to fall for that chiselled face, and I'm afraid you won't be the last.
So don't be too hurt if Brent ends up being a little bit beyond your reach.
Oh, well.
Thank you, Emma.
I - I'll keep that in mind.
But, just to be clear, I'm not falling for Brent.
Sure you're not.
Aww.
Did you get the money? I damn near died for it.
All right.
There it is.
Hah, hah.
Come to Papa.
Geez! What does this thing weigh? Kilograms? Talk right.
That's metric.
Metric? I got news for ya, Hank.
We won the war.
So what's the horsepower of this baby? It's like, 15 horsepower.
Hah! That's like 7,000 metric.
Really? Mmhmm.
You got yourself a deal.
Anyplace else? All over the place.
I shoot at sign posts, sometimes at sparrows, only because I know I'll never hit them.
And-and sometimes I-I shoot straight up into air, you know, to celebrate stuff.
Well, this has been a real eye opener, Davis.
I gotta tell ya.
Now what? I- I-I mean what'll happen? What-what-what happens next? You think I'll get disciplined? You think I'll get fired? What happens next is I sign this report, make it official, and according to regulation, I hand the completed report to my superior officer.
Here you go, Sir.
We need to talk.
No, no, we don't.
No.
No.
Talk-talk to Oscar.
He's the one that stole your money while you were out.
I don't know nothin' about it.
I know it's not your fault, Hank.
But I do need that money.
So, you like to play pool, do ya? Yeah.
How about you and I play a game of pool for that $90? I don't know, Emma.
I'm, uh, I'm actually really good.
I wouldn't want ya to think I was hustlin' ya.
Rack 'em.
There.
I beat ya 10 games in a row.
Can I go home now? How about the best 11 out of 21? Just take the money.
Hey.
Could I ask you something? Sure.
Do you think I'm attractive? Ah, let's get one thing straight.
I like guys.
I know, sometimes with me being a cop, people make assumptions.
We all have things in our past.
High school, pyjama party, tickle fight.
Let's start over.
Would you say that Brent is better looking, for a guy, than I am for a woman? I don't understand.
Brent told me he just wants to be friends, which is totally cool, and that's all I wanna be anyway.
Oh, Lacey.
So what if Brent doesn't want to go out with you.
You are way better looking for girls than he is for boys, way! Oh, Karen, thank you.
No problem.
I mean that's what friends do, right?Mmhmm.
They say things that aren't exactly true to make their friends feel good about themselves.
Is that what you just did? Yeah.
Usually you don't tell the person.
Oh.
Well, anyway, truth is, Brent is way outta your league.
Just lower the bar a little.
You'll find someone.
Oh.
You know how you guys all think that Brent is so handsome and unattainable and outta my league? Now, Lacey, no one ever said that.
Actually, I said something like that.
Oh, yeah, I did too.
Well, it seems to be a fairly general consensus around town.
But I have a theory.
Adaptation.
Yeah, that's it, for sure.
Don't humour her until she's done.
Sorry.
We have adapted to our surroundings, we have lowered our standards.
I mean think about the men of Dog River.
Do you see? We have adapted our standards because of what's available to us.
Brent, because he's not tragically flawed, is seen as beautiful when held up against the average.
Well, I see what you're saying.
But Do you see? Wanda agrees with me.
Oh, I am so glad that's settled.
Now I gotta get back to work.
Was that as big a load as it sounded? Huge load.
She's livin' in a dream world.
Yeah.
Brent's not hot.
Whatever.
Where you been? Thought I'd stay out of the house, give you a chance to rummage through my drawers and steal stuff.
You still upset about that? Stop livin' in the past.
Oh, I'll get over it, Oscar.
Because, trust me, you're gonna get yours.
What does that mean? Unbelievable! She put holes in my boat! We'll see about this.
See? Two can play the hole game.
What are you talking about? You put holes in my boat, I put holes in your bowls.
I never put holes in your boat.
Oh, right.
Somebody just comes along by Lumsden's farm and shoots it.
I gotta be more careful with my gun.
So you're not mad at me anymore? Nah.
You were right.
You put a good scare into me.
I learned my lesson.
Davis, I got a nest of squirrels in my attic.
Can I borrow your gun? There ya go.
Thanks.
Davis! Oh, right.
When you're finished, you're gonna have to file a report.
Yeah, not likely.
What? How's it goin'? I'm sittin' down, I'm eating.
For a lazy glutton, this is like a perfect day.
What is it you love so much about chili cheese dogs? What don't I love about them? Actually, I don't love the poppy seeds on the bun.
Could you get some plain ones? Just brush them off with your hands.
You heard me say I'm lazy, right? That's what you don't like.
What do you like about them? Oh, well, they're delicious, they're affordable, and, best of all, they're bite-sized.
You are so outta my league.
What's that mean? Closed Captioning by * I don't know the same things you don't know * * I don't know I just don't know * * It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place * I don't know Yes you do * * You just won't admit it * I don't know the same things you don't know * Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.
com * I don't know * I just don't know * 
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You have to file a report every time you fire your weapon, whatever the reason.
It was crows, I said.
Are you even listening? You're having a thing with Brent? You work with Brent.
Does he ever talk about me? Sure, every day.
Really? What does he say? It depends on what your specials are.
Specials? The lunch specials.
If you have something like a steak sandwich, he thinks you're the greatest.
But if it's some salad with pine nuts and filberts and stuff from goats, it sours him up for the rest of the day.
Oh.
Lacey, are you having some kinda thing with Brent? No.
Maybe.
I mean we almost had a thing, I think.
Settle down.
You're gettin' me hot.
Do you still have that outboard motor or did some stooge buy it? I got someone to buy it.
90 bucks! Ooh.
Who's the sap? Yeah, I'd rather not say.
The buyer wants to keep it quiet.
You gotta hide me.
Hide you? If your mother finds me, she'll pull my arms off.
Mom's been here for five minutes.
You snitch.
Dad, if you're hiding from someone, don't hide in the place that you go to every day.
When Brent and I went to Regina to see the Grey Cup, his car ran out of gas and we spent the day together.
At one point we started discussing relationships or something and then we Did you sleep with Brent? No! Did you and Brent make out? Well, no.
Well, what? Did you see him pee or something? No.
Well, yeah.
But that's not what I meant.
We almost kissed.
You almost kissed? Mmhmm.
Wow.
That's a big deal for grade seven.
So you almost kissed.
So now you want to know how proceed, huh, take things to the next level? No.
No, no.
The exact opposite.
I - I just wanna be friends.
But I'm afraid if I tell Brent that it'll hurt his feelings For five bucks I'll tell him.
No.
That would hurt his feelings more.
Plus, he would think I was a coward.
Then give me five bucks or I'll tell him.
I need five bucks.
Your father's done a lot of stupid things.
You just realized that? But he's never stolen from me.
You stole from Mom? It was found money.
Where'd you find 90 bucks? In the house, in our house.
In my nightstand, on my side of the bed, in a drawer, in an envelope marked "Do not touch.
" How am I supposed to read in the dark? Dad, don't tell me you're the sap buying Hank's motor? Fine.
I won't tell ya.
"And any firing of the sidearm shall warrant "a full and thorough internal report to be executed and filed by a fellow officer.
" How are we supposed to know what's right and what's wrong when they keep adding new rules? This was published in 1964.
I wasn't even a cop in '64.
How am I supposed to know that stuff? That's why you need the money, for a stupid outboard motor? Maybe I'm buyin' you a present.
You bought me a plastic butter dish 15 years ago and now another present? Oh, keep it up and you won't get nothin'.
Can I talk to you? Yeah, okay.
Wanda, can you take over? Yeah, I think I can manage.
That's my money.
If it's your money, how come I have it? So, what's up? I got somethin' in my teeth?No.
It's about our trip to the Grey Cup.
Oh.
We-we had that moment, or kinda had that moment, and I was just Look, Lacey, um, I was kinda hopin' we could avoid this altogether.
I don't feel like we should be a couple.
You know? I - I think you're great and I like ya a lot.
It's just I honestly feel like we're supposed to be friends.
So let's just stay friends, okay? Will you be all right with that? Oh, sure.
Yeah.
That's great, actually.
Because that's what I was just gonna say.
Really? Excellent.
Right.
I'm just curious as to why you-you don't, um Back to work.
Talk to ya later.
What are the lunch specials today? Uh, pork chops.
Oh, Yes! You rule! Okay, so I'll just ask you a few questions, file a quick report, and, ah, we'll be done here.
Okay? All right, I guess.
So, you say you were out by Lumsden's farm? Yeah, just west of town.
Driving your patrol car? Of course.
Okay, okay.
We're on the same side, here, Davis.
No need to get defensive.
I'm not.
You're not on my side? I'm not defensive.
Hmm.
We can work this out.
Yeah, if you give me my money.
I just want some gas.
So could you Do I look like I work here? Does anyone work here? Hey, how ya doin'? Can I check the oil, clean the windshield? Do you collect AirMiles? I just want outta here.
I know that feeling.
Mom, Dad, settle down, okay? We're gonna have civilian casualties here and then we got the UN crawlin' all over the place.
Come again.
Oh, hey! We gotta find a solution to this.
I've been saving for six months to buy a new mixer and I'm buying a new mixer.
Hang on a second.
Dad wants a new outboard motor, Mom wants a new mixer.
Oh, okay, that won't work.
But you guys have to compromise.
It's too late.
Geez, he can really move when he wants to.
It's okay.
I know where he lives.
Hey.
How did your talk with Brent go? Before I had a chance to tell him that I wasn't really attracted to him, he told me he wasn't really attracted to me.
Mm, aah.
Yeah.
So it's good, you know, because I didn't have to hurt his feelings and now I'm just wondering why Why he's not attracted to you? Yeah.
I-I'm-I'm just curious.
No offence, Lacey, but, uh, you're kinda shootin' for the moon, there.
Pardon? You know? I mean Brent's just a bit outta your league.
Ah, out of my No offence.
You are a lovely, intelligent woman.
It's just that Brent's kind of unattainable.
Really? If we're talkin' just pure, raw, physical animal attractiveness, the average guy is, and Brent is.
Wow.
'Cause, you know, I've really, I-I really never thought of him like that.
Atta girl.
You tell yourself whatever you need to, to get over the sting of rejection, and then you pick yourself back up and you get back in the game.
You know, lower your standards, then get back in the game.
So you fired your gun off at 2:00? But you didn't get back here until 2:20.
What were you doin' for 20 minutes? Nothing.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothin'.
Just a lotta nothin', just thinkin' out loud.
You look like you could use a break.
You want a coffee? Yeah.
We're all out.
Strange.
What's that? Oh.
Wanda was just saying that Brent's really attractive.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know how she does it, havin' to work with him every day.
What do you mean? He's gorgeous.
I mean I'm a guy, I can't tell.
I just see the way women throw themselves at him.
Brent Leroy? Good looks, gas station.
Some guys have all the luck.
So Brent's really good looking? I know! So how often would you say you fire your handgun in the, ah, course of a week? I don't know.
I - I don't keep track.
I thought you said we were out of coffee.
Did I? Emma? Hey, uh, could I ask you something? Sure.
Okay.
Here it goes.
Uh, do you think your son might be attracted to me? Oh, I don't know.
I hope so.
You're a nice, pretty girl, you run your own business.
You'd do Brent a world of good.
Oh, no.
Thanks, Emma.
That's very sweet.
But I don't want you to think The problem, though, is with Brent himself.
In relationships, he's his own worst enemy.
What do you mean? He's so good looking.
Too good looking, really.
It can be a curse as well as a blessing.
Oh, I imagine it would be.
You're not the first to fall for that chiselled face, and I'm afraid you won't be the last.
So don't be too hurt if Brent ends up being a little bit beyond your reach.
Oh, well.
Thank you, Emma.
I - I'll keep that in mind.
But, just to be clear, I'm not falling for Brent.
Sure you're not.
Aww.
Did you get the money? I damn near died for it.
All right.
There it is.
Hah, hah.
Come to Papa.
Geez! What does this thing weigh? Kilograms? Talk right.
That's metric.
Metric? I got news for ya, Hank.
We won the war.
So what's the horsepower of this baby? It's like, 15 horsepower.
Hah! That's like 7,000 metric.
Really? Mmhmm.
You got yourself a deal.
Anyplace else? All over the place.
I shoot at sign posts, sometimes at sparrows, only because I know I'll never hit them.
And-and sometimes I-I shoot straight up into air, you know, to celebrate stuff.
Well, this has been a real eye opener, Davis.
I gotta tell ya.
Now what? I- I-I mean what'll happen? What-what-what happens next? You think I'll get disciplined? You think I'll get fired? What happens next is I sign this report, make it official, and according to regulation, I hand the completed report to my superior officer.
Here you go, Sir.
We need to talk.
No, no, we don't.
No.
No.
Talk-talk to Oscar.
He's the one that stole your money while you were out.
I don't know nothin' about it.
I know it's not your fault, Hank.
But I do need that money.
So, you like to play pool, do ya? Yeah.
How about you and I play a game of pool for that $90? I don't know, Emma.
I'm, uh, I'm actually really good.
I wouldn't want ya to think I was hustlin' ya.
Rack 'em.
There.
I beat ya 10 games in a row.
Can I go home now? How about the best 11 out of 21? Just take the money.
Hey.
Could I ask you something? Sure.
Do you think I'm attractive? Ah, let's get one thing straight.
I like guys.
I know, sometimes with me being a cop, people make assumptions.
We all have things in our past.
High school, pyjama party, tickle fight.
Let's start over.
Would you say that Brent is better looking, for a guy, than I am for a woman? I don't understand.
Brent told me he just wants to be friends, which is totally cool, and that's all I wanna be anyway.
Oh, Lacey.
So what if Brent doesn't want to go out with you.
You are way better looking for girls than he is for boys, way! Oh, Karen, thank you.
No problem.
I mean that's what friends do, right?Mmhmm.
They say things that aren't exactly true to make their friends feel good about themselves.
Is that what you just did? Yeah.
Usually you don't tell the person.
Oh.
Well, anyway, truth is, Brent is way outta your league.
Just lower the bar a little.
You'll find someone.
Oh.
You know how you guys all think that Brent is so handsome and unattainable and outta my league? Now, Lacey, no one ever said that.
Actually, I said something like that.
Oh, yeah, I did too.
Well, it seems to be a fairly general consensus around town.
But I have a theory.
Adaptation.
Yeah, that's it, for sure.
Don't humour her until she's done.
Sorry.
We have adapted to our surroundings, we have lowered our standards.
I mean think about the men of Dog River.
Do you see? We have adapted our standards because of what's available to us.
Brent, because he's not tragically flawed, is seen as beautiful when held up against the average.
Well, I see what you're saying.
But Do you see? Wanda agrees with me.
Oh, I am so glad that's settled.
Now I gotta get back to work.
Was that as big a load as it sounded? Huge load.
She's livin' in a dream world.
Yeah.
Brent's not hot.
Whatever.
Where you been? Thought I'd stay out of the house, give you a chance to rummage through my drawers and steal stuff.
You still upset about that? Stop livin' in the past.
Oh, I'll get over it, Oscar.
Because, trust me, you're gonna get yours.
What does that mean? Unbelievable! She put holes in my boat! We'll see about this.
See? Two can play the hole game.
What are you talking about? You put holes in my boat, I put holes in your bowls.
I never put holes in your boat.
Oh, right.
Somebody just comes along by Lumsden's farm and shoots it.
I gotta be more careful with my gun.
So you're not mad at me anymore? Nah.
You were right.
You put a good scare into me.
I learned my lesson.
Davis, I got a nest of squirrels in my attic.
Can I borrow your gun? There ya go.
Thanks.
Davis! Oh, right.
When you're finished, you're gonna have to file a report.
Yeah, not likely.
What? How's it goin'? I'm sittin' down, I'm eating.
For a lazy glutton, this is like a perfect day.
What is it you love so much about chili cheese dogs? What don't I love about them? Actually, I don't love the poppy seeds on the bun.
Could you get some plain ones? Just brush them off with your hands.
You heard me say I'm lazy, right? That's what you don't like.
What do you like about them? Oh, well, they're delicious, they're affordable, and, best of all, they're bite-sized.
You are so outta my league.
What's that mean? Closed Captioning by * I don't know the same things you don't know * * I don't know I just don't know * * It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place * I don't know Yes you do * * You just won't admit it * I don't know the same things you don't know * Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.
com * I don't know * I just don't know * 
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Corner Gas (2004) Episode Scripts   |   More Television Show Episode Scripts

 

 






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Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=corner-gas-2004&episode=s02e01