Sunday, 20 May 2018
It has come to my attention that we, as human beings, have an innate design flaw. We regularly get hungry when there is no possibility of eating a chili cheese dog - food of kings and all time favourite of Brent Leroy. How often have you been in a car, in the dentists chair or sitting in McDonalds and there is nothing remotely edible in your immediate vicinity, let alone a decent chili cheese dog? During Scott's expedition, Lawrence Oates famously got so desperate for the sausagey treat that he found himself saying "I am just going out and I maybe sometime" before he headed off on his own to try and find an Antarctic branch of Dairy Queen.
Monday, 7 May 2018
Good afternoon. My name is Neville P. Scratchings. I recently graduated from Doctor Fegg's Medical Training Institute for the Almost Criminally Insane. I enrolled for a small monthly fee and no questions asked. Every week, Dr Fegg would send us our training pack in the post which consisted of a medical dictionary, a stethoscope and a randomly selected body part from a undetermined source. If we students managed to successfully identify at least three out of ten of the items sent we received our general practitioner certificate and a a voucher for 10% off at Dodgy Ken's Finger Print Removal Service.