I just looked at the clock, it's quarter past August already! Where does the time go? We here in in England have been subjected this summer to something called sun. It has been so hot that ginger people, such as myself, have been spontaneously combusting on the pavement leaving nothing but a pair of boots with smoke coming out of them. It is very hard to be English in these sort of conditions. We have to stop complaining about the rain, which leaves us with a massive hole in our day with nothing to do. There have been swathes of pensioners, wandering the streets, trying to cope without a beige raincoat on. Our economy has taken a massive hit as umbrella sales hit an all time low and wellington boots manufacturing had to be slowed to a crawl. It's been hotter than Kylie Minogue's bottom wearing hot pants in a hot cross bun factory.