Friday, 1 December 2017

Merry Gasmas!!


Twas the Night Before Christmas, at the Corner Gas pumps
Not a Person was working ,the big, lazy, lumps
When Hank runs in, Brent gives him a stare
And says "Ask me for twenty bucks, go on..if you dare!"

"I need it for gifts" Hank thoughtfully said
"Either that or a fan belt." Whilst Brent punched his head
Hank squeaked "Hey you almost made me loose my cap"
"Get out" Brent replied "'less you want a dirt nap!"

When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter
Oscar fell off the roof, on the lawn he did splatter
"Why are you dressed as Santa" asked Emma of his mass
"I'm delivering presents - what d'ya think? Ya Jackass!"

Oscar picked himself up, said "I wish there was snow,
When you fall off a roof, it softens the blow."
"When you bump your noggin, what will appear?
Not stars and tweety birds, like a cartoon my dear!"

He continued "I may be an old codger, not lively and quick"
"But I will deliver presents better than stupid Saint Nick!"
Everyone ran out to see Oscar had made a big gaff
So they pointed at him and had a great laugh!

"Now Wanda, now Lacey, now Hank & Brent"
Emma says "Don't laugh because Oscar is battered and bent"
Then she looked at her husband & rightly she knew
When everyone was not looking then she would laugh too

Davis and Karen turned up all a flutter
"We heard all the noise, who is this Santa clad nutter!"
Oscar said "It is me! I was on the roof and turned around
Next thing I know I am sidewalk bound!"

Davis noted "You are dressed in fur from head to foot
To find a better Santa you'd be hard put,
Those presents you had, that you were to begat
Looked like they were awesome, until you squashed them all flat"

Oscars eyes twinkled, his cheeks red and merry
Lacey asked him "Have you been at the Sherry?"
The drool from his mouth, suddenly drawn up like a bow
He said "It's the cold, It's all this damn snow!"

Emma called his bluff "There is no snow, you lie through your teeth,
You really are beyond any belief!"
Brent with his broad face, and his little round belly
Said "Enough of this, buy me a beer Karen Pelly?"

"It is not my round" said Karen like a big grumpy elf
"I will buy you one beer...and three for me and myself!"
"Awesome, great, I'll get some beer in my head,
Straight after I've been to the Ruby and got myself fed!"

Brent went to The Ruby, and tried not to shirk
On the Chilli Cheese Dog on which he did go to work
In walked Oscar, Wanda, Emma and Hank
Karen and Davis all joined him in the coffee he drank

Brent sprang to his feet, to the team gave a whistle
"Listen up one and all, here's something you won't want to miss..le"
"You are all great friends, you are all out of sight
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

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Here is a special Christmas treat from me. The first completely non official Corner Gas Advent Calendar! Come back every day, click on that days door and get yourself a bit of Dog River cheer!

Thank you everyone for your support over the last year, be sure to come back every week in 2018 when we will bring you even more fun from all your Corner Gas favourites!

Have a truly wonderful Christmas

With Love
Ian