I know what you're thinking. You shouldn't be thinking such things! Naughty!
Also you're thinking, "Where on earth have you been Ian?"
Well I could tell you of my adventures, around the world. Seeking lost treasures with nothing but my pistol, whip and quick wits to get me out of a sticky situation. I could mention about the time spent in self discovery, realising we are all nothing but batteries in a giant machine and using newly found super kung fu powers to help free the human race from it's evil captors. Then there's that time I had myriad adventures in Singapore, Bahli and Morroco pausing only briefly to sing few show tunes with Bing Crosby.